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Wisdom Circle – Raising Resilient Children
Topic: Raising Resilient Children
Dear Friends,
This next Wisdom circle is about Raising Resilient Children. For the first time, I (Audrey) am going to lead our circle. As a new mum who is still trying to navigate which figure I want to embody for my daughter, I find in Erica Komisar’s talks the reassurance to act in alignment with my natural mother’s intuition, despite what modern society presents to mothers as the “right” way to raise children.
Erika is a social worker, psychoanalist, and author committed to helping parents raise emotionally regulated children in a context where community networks have been disrupted and the institutionalization of childcare normalized.
She discusses the alarming situation of a narcissistic society led by narcissistic parents after years of telling women they should choose themselves, their needs, and their desires first. This has led to a generation of teenagers and young adults who struggle with social and mental health issues. They have been separated from their parents from a very young age by placing them in daycares, raised without the presence of extended family or community, and with both parents working, unable to be as physically and emotionally present as they might wish to be.
Erica reemphasizes the importance of being present for our babies, especially during the most neurologically fragile years between birth and age three. This prevents attachment issues and emotional instability later on in life.
She speaks directly to women and new parents who wish to reconnect with their natural instincts and intuition, reminding them that their young children deeply need their presence. After decades of promoting independence, career focus, and individualism, society has forgotten the essential role of community and the importance of making choices that positively impact families and, above all, the children.
I hope this topic will resonate with you as a mother, an aunt, a grandma or any figure who cares about children and how we treat them. Because if as adults we do not step to act diferently, the circle of trauma will keep repeating itself.
Materials to Preview for our Dialogue:
1- Podcast Interview of Erica Komisar in The Diary of a CEO , Starting at 09:49 How Have Social Changes Influenced Parenting? Until 25:31 Family Diaspora: Raising Children Without Extended Family.
In addition, choose one of the 2 (shorter) videos below to view before our meeting:
2 – Psychoanalyst’s Advice For Young Parents
3 – Psychoanalyst: “Children need a childhood!” | Erica Komisar , This speech is a conference where Erica presents the systemic problem causing children to develop mental issues such as ADHD and presents her solutions at a personnal, society and governmental level to adress the issue.
A few questions and ideas to consider for our dialogue:
- Do you agree that western society has overvalued individualism and created narcissistic parents to the detriment of children?
- As grandmothers, neighbors, aunts, or members of the wider community, how do you feel you can support mothers and help break the cycle of raising children in isolation?
- What do you think about the complementary roles that mothers and fathers play with their children, especially in a context where many adults grew up with single parents or with parents trying to fill both roles at once?
- According to Erica, “Parents need to look after their past and traumas and take responsibility for their children’s mental health issues.” What does this mean to you?
Additional Links:
Book: Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
Logistics:
Date: Monday, November 10
Time: 6:30 – 9:30 p.m.
Place: Gavalochori
What to bring: An object that represents a child that is dear to your heart or your inner child.
Food: You are welcome to bring a light and healthy dish to share, or to arrive early to prepare something together. Please contact us to coordinate.
Please RSVP to let us know you’re coming: councilformatriarchalarts@gmail.com
About the Wisdom and Scholarship Circle:
Gatherings will be minimally facilitated, and our dialogue format will be fluid. Each session begins with a short ritual to arrive and open sacred space. Generally speaking, each woman is allowed several minutes to share her perspectives. We may later proceed into more open and free-wheeling conversation, allowing ideas, stories, and feelings to flow. There will be a “talking stick” in the room in case it is needed or desired by the group. As we grow in our knowledge and respect for one another, we will ever-more- skillfully co-conceive and co-create productive structure for our time together.
In preparation, please be thoughtful about how you would like to see us navigate potentially controversial topics and passionate varying opinions. What will you bring to the group? What would you like to receive and take away from this experience? What do we need to know about you so that we can hold you in a way that allows you to feel relaxed, open-hearted, seen, heard, and cherished?
The Sacred Agreement: In this forum, we will share the responsibility of holding space for respectful, curious, and productive conversation. We will maintain a commitment to confidentiality for each woman’s sharing, as well as a deep knowing that each woman is developing her own perspective and gifts through this experience. Each woman is asked to share from her heart, while tenderly holding attentive and heartfelt space for everyone in the group to do the same. Our shared vision is that each woman feels welcome to learn and imagine openly and in her own way. We arrive in this space with deep respect for diversity of experience, opinion, communication style, and perspective.